Of course it would happen exactly 1 week AFTER the warranty expired and when I don't have the money to replace it.
I spent 2 extra days charging, troubleshooting, and hoping for a miracle, and finally called Amazon just in case they knew something else to try. They confirmed that it isn't coming back to life. Then they surprised the heck out of me by offering to trade a new Kindle for the dead one. For free. I don't even have to pay shipping on either one. None of my 442 books is lost because they are backed up on Amazon and will be loaded onto the new Kindle when I connect to Wi-Fi. It will be here Tuesday thanks to 2-day shipping!
I'm already an Amazon Prime member, repeat shopper, and a big fan, but their customer service truly exceeds my expectations.